Humans are super good at making simple things complex. It probably stems from our desire to control the uncontrollable. We can’t say when we will die, so let’s add a few more pockets to this pair of jeans. At least then we can rule some facet of our lives.
Sometimes though, the best way forward is also the easiest. Here are five ways to get what you want in life, love, and business. No assembly required.
“Hey! I’m on my way over. What should I pick up for lunch?” you ask. “Umm… I don’t know. You pick,” your friend replies. “Ugh! I knew you would say that,” you say, “You’re so frustrating! You never know what you want!”
Your friend may not know what they want, but the reality is, neither do you.
Often we blame our indecision on “being considerate.” You call a friend and ask them what they want. You say it’s because they’re picky. Or maybe you say it’s because you want to cater to their tastes. But the truth is that you don’t know what you want.
One simple way to get what you want, then, is to know what you want. Instead of complaining about your friend, you could call them, say you’re going to Chipotle, and ask if they want anything. Problem solved.
The squeaky wheel
Someone recently reached out to me. They wanted to purchase my course but it was out of their price range. They didn’t know what to do.
I asked what they could afford. They told me. It was reasonable. So I gave them the course for a lower price. Now, that’s not something I do very often. Nor is it something I openly advertise. Regardless, I had no problem obliging their request.
As a kid, my grandma told me something that has always stuck with me. It’s an old saying. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil. In other words, it is those that speak up that get attention and, often, the thing they ask for.
Had that individual not reached out to me, I never would have known their concern. But they did and they were rewarded because of it. One simple way to get what you want is to ask for what you want. Don’t demand. Politely ask. Make your case. Often you’ll get what you’re hoping for.
I’ll take that, thank you very much
Better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission. You know that saying, right? Well it can be applied to many things. One of which is your desires.
It is surprising how often this saying holds true.
Here’s a simple example. You stand at the kitchen counter. You’re about to cut open an avocado but decide to ask aloud first, “Does anyone mind if I have this avocado?” Lo and behold, everyone does mind. And just like that, your sandwich goes barren.
Now let’s play it back, but differently this time.
You stand at the kitchen counter. You’re about to cut open an avocado and you do. Using the knife, you delicately place individual green slices onto the bread. You leave the kitchen with your delicious sandwich and no one bats an eye. In fact, no one even knew avocados were on the counter.
One simple way to get what you want is to take it.
Note: This isn’t always the best course of action. And you do run the risk of offending someone and having to run out to the grocery store to make up for it. That said, it works.
They don’t care about you
Do you care what people think of you? Yes. Of course. Unfortunately, it’s that caring that often prevents us from getting what we want.
A few days ago, I went to the beach. It was overcast out. And I was determined to spend the entire day sitting there, meditating.* To make a long story short, I did just that. It was great. But that’s not the point. As I sat on the beach, cross-legged, spine straight, obviously meditating, I felt crazy self-conscious. Especially as people walked by.
I wanted to stop. To adjust my posture and “act normal.”
But I fought the urge. Partly by reminding myself that my fellow beachgoers didn’t care about me. They were living their own lives, and if they saw me as the weird guy on the beach, that was their judgment to deal with.
One simple way to get what you want is to ignore the judgments of others. It is easy to do, but it does take some practice. There’s a book I recommend that can help: Loving What Is by Byron Katie.
*It wasn’t anything impressive. I took a long nap at one point. I only mention meditating because it’s relevant to the story.
No sudden moves
You want that big promotion. So you do everything mentioned above. You ask your boss for it. You take the opportunities presented to you. And you push yourself out of your comfort zone. In other words, you physically do all you can.
All that’s left now is to wait.
One simple way to get what you want is to wait for it. Put your intention out there and do the work to make it happen. After that, sit back, relax, and trust it will come together. It’s that easy. Believe you will get what you want and you often will. Not always, but sometimes the best – and easiest – thing to do is wait. No other action is necessary.
For instance, I wanted to get featured in big publications like Forbes. So I wrote a lot. I asked for help. I tried new things to make it happen. Then I waited. And then I got featured in Forbes.
Humans like to make things complicated. Getting what you want doesn’t have to be though. For your reference once more, here are five easy ways to get what you want in life, love, and business:
- Know what you want.
- Ask for what you want.
- Take what you want.
- Ignore social norms and judgments.
- Wait for what you want.