It’s really easy to watch videos or read articles by “experts” and feel as though they have it all worked out. They don’t.
At least, I don’t. So I assume they don’t either.
And I know that by even considering myself an “expert” in this context, I destroy any sense of humility that you may (or may not) have thought I possessed. I’m aware of this. That said, I do write, think, read, and talk about time more than the average person.
I’ve been featured in some cool places – like this article in Entrepreneur that I came across a few days ago – and I have courses, Ebooks, and newsletters all dedicated to helping you be more intentional.
Seeing one thing, hearing another
As an “expert,” I say to you: I am fully flawed (and sometimes a bit of a hypocrite). I try not to be, but often I don’t see my errors until someone points them out.
For example, I wrote up a post a few weeks ago about being selfish in the pursuit of fulfillment. Of how selfishness is a good thing and of how I make all my decisions from that perspective. But it felt… off. Not wrong. Not inaccurate. Just… off.
So I showed it to my wife – her knowing me better than anyone.
And her words were illuminating. They were something along the lines of, “You don’t do that.”
My blind spot
“What? Really?” I asked with confusion, “I feel like I do though…”
After much discussion, I realized she was right. It’s nearly impossible for me to make every decision from the perspective of fulfillment. I try to when I’m aware enough, but sometimes I’m selfish for the sole reason that I’m a selfish person.
Which hurts to admit… and hurts to write about now… but it’s the truth.
So I went back to that post and did a slew of edits, cuts, and revisions. And now, a paragraph or two in, I have a big disclaimer essentially saying that I’m still learning about selfishness in the pursuit of fulfillment. That I don’t have it all worked out yet, but I’m trying.
A shift in understanding
I write from a place of honesty. But, it can be often hard to see the line between what I feel is true and what is actually true. In other words, to decipher between the actions I experience versus the actions that the not-me’s observe.
Particularly when it comes to things of the ego; for instance, in trying to justify my selfishness instead of seeing it for what it is.
Which brings me to this point: My perspectives are constantly changing.
Both with my own inner workings and of the world around me. In the case of the above scenario with my wife, sometimes it’s just becoming more aware of my tendencies or talking through why I make certain decisions or do certain things.
The frustrations of learning
Other times though, there can be major headaches involved.
For example, I love to read. I love to learn. It’s exciting to stumble across something that completely alters the way I view life. The downside to that though, is that what I originally thought was true suddenly becomes false.
Or if not totally false, not totally true.
Which is fine in a regular day-to-day, but when I’m writing to people, when I’m trying to help people, it can be frustrating for me. It’s almost like I’m a math teacher showing a class how to do algebra one way, then the next year showing a new class an entirely different, better way to do it.
Doing the best I can
I want the best for anyone I come in contact with. Truly. But as that math teacher, I can’t physically go back and re-teach everyone. I don’t have the time or resources.
So learning new things and then discovering that what was good advice a year ago no longer holds up, is frustrating. But that’s learning, right? And so I do my best knowing that tomorrow things may be completely different.
And when things change, I’ll change with them.
But until then, I share what is true today.
The irony of running late
Here’s another flaw: I generally run late most of the time. Normally from anywhere between five to ten minutes.
I’ve tried to curb this habit. I’ve tried to set things up differently. But no matter, regardless of the day, time, or event, I’m generally off by ten or so minutes. Which is ironic considering I write about things like time management, planning, and productivity.
I do have one concession though.
In my works, you won’t find me preaching about the values of running on time. I may write about being more deliberate, planning your day, or even getting more out of an hour – those are strengths of mine – but running on time?
Not something I should be talking about. So I don’t. *And if I ever do, please feel free to call me out.
Be selective with the advice you get
Keeping all that in mind, you may be wondering – why am I doing this right now? Why am I writing this to you?
I wrote up a post a little while ago about advice. About how you need to be careful with the person you accept advice from. Because anyone will give you advice if you ask them for it.
But there’s only a small number of people you should actually consult – the people who either have what you want or know how to get it. You don’t want marriage advice from your desperately single friend.
You want advice from the couple who has been happily married for 30+ years.
What I can’t weigh in on
When you’re reading, learning, exploring, keep that in mind. If someone is sharing what they know about fitness, for instance, look them up on social media. How do they look? Do they represent the body type that you want?
If so, go ahead and listen to their advice. Otherwise, go somewhere else.
If you want to learn how to be on time for every meeting or appointment you ever have, don’t come to me. If you want to chat with someone that makes every decision from a place of aware-selfishness, I’m not that person.
It’s hard to write about my flaws and weaknesses. Especially in the context of my writing, of my blog, QuickBooost, this thing that I love so much. But it does you no favors to not being transparent.
So here’s what I am good at.
What I can weigh in on (and moving forward)
If you want to achieve your goals, if you want to create a fulfilling life for yourself, I’m your guy. As of this writing, I have some 12+ goals that I’m actively pursuing.
In 2020, I achieved a goal of completing two books a month and even surpassed it; I ended up finishing, on average, over one book a week. I climbed a literal mountain – another massive goal. Each month I went on a date with my daughter and each month I went on a date with my wife.
The list goes on, but you get it.
Yes, I am flawed. But each day, I am trying. I am learning new things, experimenting, confronting what I thought was truth. I can’t give you the best advice for being on time, but if you ever need help attaining goal success, I’m here for you. This is my email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Feel free to reach out.